hire a hermit
hermit (n): a person who lives in seclusion from society, often for religious reasons
Ornamental Hermits: A History Lesson
During the 18th century in Europe, it became a fad among noblemen to employ a man to live as a hermit on their estates. The hermit would live in a folly or grotto specially constructed for the purpose, but made to look like a natural feature. Payment was in food and drink.
A hermit’s duties varied from estate to estate. Some merely lived in silence, a feature of the landscaping. Others entertained guests with pantomimes and words of wisdom.
Hermit for Hire: A Proposal
You find yourself the owner of a slightly gothic kind of property. A historic estate, a mountainside cave, a decommissioned lighthouse, a nice family home with a squeaky front gate, ect. In short, you have a property that could benefit from the presence of an enigmatic hermit.
Jules Harter is an aspiring hermit with some twenty-odd years experience. In addition to having spent months living alone, they have carefully studied the works of hermits who have gone into the woods before them. To match your aesthetic needs, their services range from complete silence to ominous muttering to sagely advice, either brief or long winded.
They hold a bachelors in the humanities, with a minor in business, and can speak wisely on history, software engineering, philosophy, politics, civil engineering, and small enterprise accounting. For an additional fee, they can learn further subjects as needed. And because a job application wouldn’t be complete without it, Jules is responsible, detail oriented, and has intermediate skills in Microsoft Word and Excel.
What Jules Provides:
- their enigmatic, anti-social presence
- a variety of costumes to fit your aesthetic
- books, paper, and pens to study and craft sage ideas
- several tongues in which to mutter (English, Spanish, and German currently)
What Jules Requires:
- comfortable lodging in the hermitage of your choice
- daily loaf of bread, hunk of cheese, flask of wine
- internet connection (wired or wireless, fiber preferred)
- Tuesday afternoons and every Sunday off
- healthcare (dependent on country of residence)
Please contact Jules for availability and inquiries.
To read the ramblings of a hermit without paying me on retainer, see the available books, check out Everyday Gothic, or join me on social media.
